Below is my attempt at a Big Brother observation
Well look what has hit the TV screens in the sunny isle of England, why it's Big Brother 6, aren't we all lucky, you know when summer is here and it's festival season or time to go out at weekends, have BBQ's, shave the cat and generally do anything other than watch TV. Now don't get me wrong out of the reality TV shows it is by far the best, but then it's like saying out of the World wars the second one was best. Although the idea of seeing 12 people who have never met before all trying to get along while forced to share in a confined space is still a good one
But the thing that I detest is the people that are the 'big fans' who vote on these things ??? you got to worry about the mentality of people some times, each year they praise and reward bitchyness, being two faced, childish name calling and a profusion of other bad personality traits, were else in normal life would anyone say "wow I like you because you're a bloke that wears 4" high heels and a Sari just because you are on camera, responds like a 10 year old when ever anyone says something you don't like, screams at people for mentioning your name in a conversation but constantly slags everyone off behind there backs" it's hard for me to believe that the general public must really like that sort of thing, and going by the large number of viewers compared to the small number of votes considering that some of these people vote 10 or 20 times, there must be a small band of fanatical followers that think that voting for a someone that is openly gay is a is a blow for equal rights, well sorry but when the person in question is an spiteful little shit like you find on Big Brother it puts your cause back some what
Anyway this started out as a meet your new house mates and what I think of them and sort of lost the plot somewhat, oh well ............ oh dear, how sad, never mind
What have we then .....
Anthony
If you watched the opening night then he was the one that worked the crowd like Tony Blair on acid. He's one of toughs government experiments of how little charisma can someone have and still survive. He's yet another of the plastic faced wannabes who has substituted personality for packaging. How sad, is there some new sort of surgery out there that I haven't heard of? Like liposuction except they vacuum out what integrity and honesty a person has and replaces it with that Botox's bovine look of a docile Hindu cow that happily wanders up the cat walk of destiny to have its life converted into meat and fodder for all the other little Bovine-people out there happily grazing across the mediocre fields of their own non-existence lives that are sapped by the insidious and malicious TV exec
Craig
Now he's the man on the opening night that declared "I have chosen not to have kids" well due to the lack of womb and the fact that he likes to shoot at the chocolate star fish as his under the bed cover sport of choice, I'm thinking that the decision was already made for him some how. Well the fat ugly little chipmunk that grows camper by the minute has only gone from sad to worse and burst into tears at the drop of a hat or the shit hits the side of the pan, with luck he'll have a nervous break down by week 4, fingers crossed
Derick
What an enigma ...... son of an electrician, born in south London, wonder where the accent came from. He was born posh as much as Dim Tim Westwood was born black. He's looks like what I imagine Kenneth Williams and Chris Eubanks love child would end up as. Well C3PO from the "ghetto" is a gay fox hunting Tory who's against gay marriages and same sex couples adopting ??? yeah I don't understand it either, but judging by the mood swings I'd say he's fast approaching the menopause and I would recommend HRT
Lesley
When I first wrote this out I filled about 5 pages on what I thought was wrong with her, everything from the out-fit she wore on the opening night (nice camera work by the way) and her spending all day with her tit's out each and every day, obviously to take the male viewers eyes away from the bingo wings and big belly, by the way her web site said she was size 12, I didn't believe it either (she wouldn't even make size 12 in hexadecimal)
Personally I think she would be Trinny and Susannah's biggest challenge and they could make a whole series on 'Lesley ... what not to wear' and although I'm no Brad Pitt I've never thought of myself as gods gift where as she can't see the fact that she is a minger and thinks she is alluring, I would use the word alarming. I've seen less slap in a spanking video than she wears on her face, and to any British media that maybe reading this she's not rounded/plump/cuddly/large/full figured ..... she's fat and she adjusts her tit's more than the average man adjusts his nuts
Kemal
Why? .... Please make it stop
Mokosi
She's the religious conceited Virgin with the earrings like TV aerials, a sort of Macy Gray/Lauryn Hill hybrid. She wants to be Whitney Houston, that will be the drug taking hypochondriac that married the serial philander Bobby Brown with any luck
Mary
Or Wednesday Adams all grown up, it's nice to see what Darth Vader looks like with-out the mask, apparently she has been abducted by aliens 5 times which proves
A) There maybe life out there but it sure isn't intelligent
B) Aliens do have a sense of humour as they keep on giving her back
Maybe a Vatican backed Scary Mary witch- hunt is in order
Maxwell
Corrr blimey, me old cock sparra, he's a proper diamond geezer!! By the sound of the list of things he hates he wants to be a black cab driver when he grows up. Though he's not really a cockney for a start, he's from north London, not east London. And he's a fairly typical north London geezer, pubs in Finsbury park are full of 'em, and he was even wearing a T-shirt advertising one the other day (but you'd have to a Gooner to know which one)
Roberto
The Italian Stallion or donkey if you like, with the authentic northern Italy Scouse accent. To me he looks a lot like Tommy Cooper in his younger days. Sadly he doesn't appear to come with any sort of volume control and continually spouts his ridiculous pearls of wisdom on any/every subject. He sees himself as the Godfather of the house but the way he acts is more Godmotherish, and he wears socks with sandals (which when worn together means you are meant to have a bushy beard) proving that Italians are not the height of class and sophistication
Sam
Surprisingly dull for a self proclaimed nymphomaniac, and I bet her local Mataland had to restock there range of bikinis after she when in the house, though her unique idea of "it's raining today I better ware the blue bikini then" seems to please me some how. Though the wearing of nothing but a bikini all the time and still no tan is a bit weird to me. She hardly talks but when she does it's always about sex, which isn't a bad thing ........... but her annoying fake laugh is
Saskia
She's a big girl isn't she. She's a wanabe actress or so she says and her big chest has stopped her getting jobs, I think that the only thing that stops her getting acting jobs is the fact she's crap at acting. Said she doesn't like dogs which is a lie as she seems perfectly fine when Lesley is in the same room as her
Science
Errrr can someone look up science in a dictionary and then show his mates !!!
For thoughs not in the know he's a sort of cross between John Tickle and Victor only taking the worst bit of them not the best, he's the 'Ghetto Gangster' from 't'up north by 'eke, maybe if he wins he'll buy a plain ticket to South Compton or the Bronx and see what real ghetto life is like and get down with some real homies like the Crips and see how long before they 'pop a cap in his ass'. Likes to think of himself as the street poet, a lyrical genius and after hearing him rap and him saying he's a producer but then tell us he's still learning how to use a mixing desk??? what talent is he meant to have ....... I bet Dr Dre must be shaking in his boots
Vanessa
And then that leaves us with Vanessa, who after being so loud no the first night sort of disappeared into the background, I personally think she is the only house mate that isn't fake or putting on an act hence why she comes across as dull as dish water, the poor girl needs a whole personality makeover even her voice sounds boring and dull she's the definition of this post...... a waste of space
So once more Emdermol have done the magic trick of care in the community in reverse by taking 13 weirdoes and locking them away, for not long enough though, still I shall no doubt be watching it with interest up until the last few weeks by which time all the ones that I like/hate the most would of been voted out and the ones left sit around talking crap for hours on end trying not to do anything that may spoil there chances of winning. Still football starts up soon with the Champions League qualifying rounds and preseason friendlys starting in July
And remember my life is no more interesting that anyone elses, but I don't have to go on TV and show everyone this
