History Of The World

Well after 5 minutes of thinking I had a brain wave ......... once I recovered I thought 'I know I'll put something that is both enlightening and educational but I put this instead ......

History of the World Part 1
The Big Bang
At the very beginning of everything ever there was the most massive explosion ever. Unconceivable huge and it was most excellent. If you can imagine drinking ten pints of turps, holding your breath for an hour, going out and eating an extra-hot vindaloo curry meal for 6, running on the spot 10 minutes then drinking 7 bottles of laxities, then pouring paraffin down the toilet and setting it on fire and rushing in to do a massive dump that would be nothing compared to this. Now sceptics will probably say "OK then, how come life was formed from a massive explosion, as explosions tend, on the whole to destroy thing, well most people only get GCSE in wood work and is not as clever as I is . The answer to this question is simple ................

The Theory Of Relativity
Einstein invented this and the atom bomb so he was an all round good bloke. As he sat under his banana tree in Oxford and the peach fell on his head he thought "For every action their is an equal and opposite reaction". In other words what Einstein invented was that every time an apple falls on his head somewhere else in the universe their is another completely different apple which wasn't falling on his head. And that meant that whenever anything happens, the completely opposite was happening as well, like I'm typing this and your not, or Aphex Twin made 54 Cymru beats and Steps didn't at exactly the same time. So when the Big Bang destroyed everything all those hundreds of years ago it also didn't at the same time. Clever or what!

I'll post part two when I have the time and inclanation .............. but don't hold your beath