Beckham's Baby Boom

England wonder boy David 'Golden Balls' Beckham is a wanted man ! The big bucks star of Real and England international is being hunted by a cloning expert who wants him to open an "account" at his "bank"

The boffin who wants David to say "yes" is after a couple of pints of the football gods love juices in the hope that one day he will be able to produce a whole team of Golden Ball clones who will dominate the sport for years to come
Top spermologist and genetic engineer Professor Franz Heinz Spaghettio's, a leading authority on cloning said that the science of duplicating biological forms is now possible with-out any problems. He told me over a pint in the pub that he had already produced a perfect duplicate of the race horse Shergar using a sample acquired from a friend of a friend. Unfortunately it disappeared without a trace just like the real horse did .......... which he claims is proof that it was a successful cloning.

Spaghettio's, an ardent football fan has been following Beckham around for the last 18 months and disguise himself as a hotel maid in the hope of retrieving a couple of globs from the bed sheets but as yet he said his hunt is proving unsuccessful

When I phoned to ask about the nutty Professor and his cloning capers all I got was an answer phone that spoke in Spanish and I couldn't understand it